Lucinda Williams的"Are You Alright?"，收錄在今年艷萍來的時候出的專輯West，今天在TiVo起來的House M.D.上聽到這首歌，胃緊緊的縮在一起，像是一團好不容易吞咽下去卻不能克化的涼義大利麵，冷冷的糾纏在一起。

Are you alright?
All the sudden you went away.
Are you alright?
I hope you come back around someday.
Are you alright?
I haven’t seen you in a real long time.
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of sign.
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were gone.
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something wrong.
Are you alright?
‘Cause it seems like you disappeared.
Are you alright?
‘Cause I been feeling a little scared.
Are you alright?

Chorus:
Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,
Hug and kiss you,Hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?

Are you alright?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you alright?
I wish you’d give me a little clue.
Are you alright?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you alright?
Just tell me that you’re okay.
Are you alright?
‘Cause you took off without a word.
Are you alright?
You flew away like a little bird.
Are you alright?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you alright?
‘Cause I need to hear from you.
Are you alright?

Chorus

Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Hey…

聽了一天的陳阿昇，寫了半個下午的作業；思考了一年以來的難題，做了此後三五年的盤算。在美國這幾年磕磕碰碰的，在水窮處看到若隱若現的山嵐，我以為這就是雲湧之時；而曙光從峰頂糝在霧氣之間，有很多很多事情還值得期待下去。

---

我知道自己的問題。

我太想在國外定下來，所以往往昧於路途困蹇而鄉愿地以為可以用恆心與努力解決一切。艷萍是我很喜歡的女孩，她美麗大方，溫柔善良，盡她的能力善解人意；可我們不適合，我們的世界本來就不一樣。我以為這是我可以獨立過之的溝塹，實則在施與受的底線上，我們的想望就不一樣。

把她留下來的乳液跟化妝品都打包好，既然H2O+快用完了就補點貨，配上她需要的咖啡豆，等Amazon寄來以後就寄回去。本來是今年回台灣時打算送她的禮物，既然不會見面了就直接寄回去；讓這段關係，用我的方式結束了。這是一種焚燒過去的方式，畢竟連綿的戰燹都不是我們願意的，不需要用任何的方式讓回憶停格，畢竟連續畫面就是一連串的片段所遮隴起來。

談過這次戀愛以後我就不想再這麼著慌了。我不要拽著對方進入任何層面的階段，也不再讓對方強求任何我還沒準備好的未來。