下午在整理照片，也把一些回憶歸了檔。情人節的晚上，喉頭不舒服的咽唵著。我想到Simone de Beauvoir的軼事；情人節晚上，難得地讓自己的情緒放肆的遊蕩一下，上班以後，連單純的懷想都變成了很奢侈的一件事情。

You made me come to Paris. You pestered me to start living again. Well, now it’s up to you to make my life livable. You mustn’t let three whole days go by without coming to see me. … You wanted me to take notice of you. Now nothing else matters to me. I know you’re alive and I feel emptiness inside me when you’re away.

– Simone de Beauvoir《All Men are Mortal》

我要她感覺 ，那是季節，或侯鳥的來臨；因我不是常常回家的那種人。鄭愁予如是說，我做不到；it was up to you to make my life livable。

Simone de Beauvoir又是怎麼跟筆友說的呢？

I’m so eager to see you again
but I wouldn’t ask to see you
not because I’m proud
in fact, in front of you
I cede all my pride
yet only if you asked to see me
our meeting would be meaningful to me

– Simone de Beauvoir《Lettres à Nelson Algren》

這段是原文了，因為Simone的情人是美國人，不會法文（這告訴我不學法文也是把得到法國正妹的）。I cede all my pride, yet only if you asked to see me, our meeting would be meaningful to me。

Je vous aime, mais est-ce que je mérite votre amour puisque je ne vous donne pas ma vie?

Yes, you do deserve my love.